PUT YOUR PRETTY ON by SL


My iPhone is doing it again. It’s changing exhausted to exhilarated. And it might be right, again. It’s been a crazy week in Los Angeles, with only more craziness to come. It’s the kind of good craziness that comes with Emmy Weekend and now that the awards are on a Monday, I’m screwed. I’m already exhausted and it’s only Saturday. I made it to one out of four parties. I missed one I really wanted to go to because I had the wrong night. Instead, we stayed in with Chinese food. I’m saving my feet for Monday and this year I’m packing a change of shoes in the car. My Little Laing’s are being difficult at bedtime but fingers crossed that tonight we will finally get some sleep and in the morning I can drop the exhausted and go with exhilarated. The odds are not in my favor. Yeah Suri, I can’t quite pinpoint my location either!
My iPhone is doing it again. It’s changing exhausted to exhilarated.

And it might be right, again. It’s been a crazy week in Los Angeles, with only more craziness to come.

It’s the kind of good craziness that comes with Emmy Weekend and now that the awards are on a Monday, I’m screwed.

I’m already exhausted and it’s only Saturday.

I made it to one out of four parties. I missed one I really wanted to go to because I had the wrong night.

Instead, we stayed in with Chinese food. I’m saving my feet for Monday and this year I’m packing a change of shoes in the car.

My Little Laing’s are being difficult at bedtime but fingers crossed that tonight we will finally get some sleep and in the morning I can drop the exhausted and go with exhilarated.

The odds are not in my favor.

Yeah Suri, I can’t quite pinpoint my location either!

Ok Los Angeles, here we come. Wheels down in an hour with my English box of tea, aka my Little Laing’s.

Honestly, they’re not so little anymore. This Summer has featured growth spurts, blue hair and lot of questions.

Most of the questions are about puberty, dating and all that comes with being a teenager.

Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t even close to being teenagers but it’s not for lack of trying.

All I hear is, “I can’t wait until I can drive.”

I’ve even seen some texts about dating but I can only go so far attempting to embarrass my kids. Dating is off limits to my posts here and basically off limits to them.

No way, no how and under no circumstances will I let my kids start dating until they are eighteen.

Right. Pull my other leg and it plays jingle bells.

Just let me live this dream a little longer.

And let me enjoy this glass of wine as I listen to ” Live from the Flight deck,”  yet again on United Airlines.

There’s a slight chop in the air as we make our way across Arizona.

Scratch that - this slight chop has become BUMPY.  I’m doing my best to keep my head off the tray table.


Tonight’s late night agenda includes avoiding my writing duties by mixing colors of Sour Patch Kids together and eating them two at a time.Yellow and orange are now “yellrange,” Red and green are “reen” and green and yellow are, of course, “grellow.”Three at a time is a secret custom blend, which I’d share with you, but then I’d have to kill you.Also on the agenda- watch the Go Pro time lapse footage from the road trip we took in April. I’ve been too afraid to look at it. Seriously, a lot happened during that 2,000 mile drive. One solo mama driver + three kids in a car x 4 cities in 10 days = a custom blend road trip, which I could also tell you about, but then I’d also have to kill you. I’m also doing some late night online shopping for party clothes. Emmys are fast approaching and so are the 8 parties that precede them. I must find 12 hour shoes this year.Back to the Sour Patch kids as I watch. This sugar rush is not affecting me at all, not one bit.

Tonight’s late night agenda includes avoiding my writing duties by mixing colors of Sour Patch Kids together and eating them two at a time.

Yellow and orange are now “yellrange,” Red and green are “reen” and green and yellow are, of course, “grellow.”

Three at a time is a secret custom blend, which I’d share with you, but then I’d have to kill you.

Also on the agenda- watch the Go Pro time lapse footage from the road trip we took in April. I’ve been too afraid to look at it. Seriously, a lot happened during that 2,000 mile drive.

One solo mama driver + three kids in a car x 4 cities in 10 days = a custom blend road trip, which I could also tell you about, but then I’d also have to kill you.

I’m also doing some late night online shopping for party clothes. Emmys are fast approaching and so are the 8 parties that precede them. I must find 12 hour shoes this year.

Back to the Sour Patch kids as I watch. This sugar rush is not affecting me at all, not one bit.


putyourprettyon:

Notes from the juice cleanse I started yesterday:8:30 am - pick up juice. 9:45 am - order scrambled eggs and toast. 11:30 am - drink half a watermelon juice.1:00 pm - why am I not drinking this juice?2:00 pm - eat a peanut butter energy bar while looking at my bag of juice.4:30 pm - put my bag of juice in the refrigerator.4:32 pm - eat a handful of animal crackers. 4:34 pm - eat another handful of animal crackers. Open fridge and look at juice.6 pm - remove juice from the refrigerator.6:30 pm - eat a crab cake. 8 pm - I’m so glad this piece of cheesecake is part of my juice cleanse. 11 pm - go to sleep7 am - get coffee as I board my train, bag of juice in hand.8 am - Open juice and realize it expired yesterday. To be continued….In my world these two things go together, Dunkin Donuts coffee and Organic Avenue Grapefruit juice.

putyourprettyon:

Notes from the juice cleanse I started yesterday:

8:30 am - pick up juice.

9:45 am - order scrambled eggs and toast.

11:30 am - drink half a watermelon juice.

1:00 pm - why am I not drinking this juice?

2:00 pm - eat a peanut butter energy bar while looking at my bag of juice.

4:30 pm - put my bag of juice in the refrigerator.

4:32 pm - eat a handful of animal crackers.

4:34 pm - eat another handful of animal crackers. Open fridge and look at juice.

6 pm - remove juice from the refrigerator.

6:30 pm - eat a crab cake.

8 pm - I’m so glad this piece of cheesecake is part of my juice cleanse.

11 pm - go to sleep

7 am - get coffee as I board my train, bag of juice in hand.

8 am - Open juice and realize it expired yesterday.

To be continued….

In my world these two things go together, Dunkin Donuts coffee and Organic Avenue Grapefruit juice.



Notes from the juice cleanse I started yesterday:8:30 am - pick up juice. 9:45 am - order scrambled eggs and toast. 11:30 am - drink half a watermelon juice.1:00 pm - why am I not drinking this juice?2:00 pm - eat a peanut butter energy bar while looking at my bag of juice.4:30 pm - put my bag of juice in the refrigerator.4:32 pm - eat a handful of animal crackers. 4:34 pm - eat another handful of animal crackers. Open fridge and look at juice.6 pm - remove juice from the refrigerator.6:30 pm - eat a crab cake. 8 pm - I’m so glad this piece of cheesecake is part of my juice cleanse. 11 pm - go to sleep7 am - get coffee as I board my train, bag of juice in hand.8 am - Open juice and realize it expired yesterday. To be continued….In my world these two things go together, Dunkin Donuts coffee and Organic Avenue Grapefruit juice.

Notes from the juice cleanse I started yesterday:

8:30 am - pick up juice.

9:45 am - order scrambled eggs and toast.

11:30 am - drink half a watermelon juice.

1:00 pm - why am I not drinking this juice?

2:00 pm - eat a peanut butter energy bar while looking at my bag of juice.

4:30 pm - put my bag of juice in the refrigerator.

4:32 pm - eat a handful of animal crackers.

4:34 pm - eat another handful of animal crackers. Open fridge and look at juice.

6 pm - remove juice from the refrigerator.

6:30 pm - eat a crab cake.

8 pm - I’m so glad this piece of cheesecake is part of my juice cleanse.

11 pm - go to sleep

7 am - get coffee as I board my train, bag of juice in hand.

8 am - Open juice and realize it expired yesterday.

To be continued….

In my world these two things go together, Dunkin Donuts coffee and Organic Avenue Grapefruit juice.



This beach vacation is in full swing. I’m with other adults which means my kids can finally swim in the ocean and we can split into smaller mini groups. (Thank you Cathy, Robyn & Ron)Although, I had all 5 kids last night in one hotel room and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I know that’s against hotel policy, but it’s my way of getting them back for their 11am checkout rule.  Seriously? 11am.When did that start and why do we let them get away with this crime against vacations?Tonight I managed to get the fab 5 kids in and out of the shower in a 25 minute assembly line. I was impressed with myself until later when they ran into the sprinklers on the hotel lawn and then jumped in the pool, fully dressed. I had two issues with this. 1. I obviously lost control of the fab 5. (and so did the other adults)2. I really didn’t want to repeat that assembly line. So, I didn’t. They went to bed smelling like a swimming pool, after eating pizza and tagging each other (and hotel guests) with laser pens until they got told off.I know what you’re thinking, laser pens… Yes, laser pens.and silly rings, a bird whistle, a back scratcher and other “necessary” stuff I bought them at Wings. It’s a must visit beach vacation store and it’s filled with junk and nostalgia from my youth, but that’s another story. And by hotel guests, I mean other kids who chased the lasers on the lawn. Come on, it’s not like I let the kids spot lasers on adults trying to eat a nice dinner below our room. I would never do that…Thanks to the other adults being here, I’ve even managed to work on my tan. I usually look like a human version of Neapolitan Ice cream, but not this time. Although, I’ll probably be peeling and back to some version of that triple flavored goodness before the Emmy’s. One more day here and it’s back to work. August is turning out to be BUSY, and EXCITING, in shouty caps, and full of new challenges. I’m READY, also in shouty caps.By the way, girls do burp. It must be true, my 9 year old daughter told me and she’s never wrong. She’s writing a book about it called, “Girls Don’t Burp.” Get it? And the laser pens came with rules, you can tag clothes or the ground but never in the eyes.Girls don’t burpAt the dinner tableAt a fancy restaurant burpWalking my dog burpAt school burpI burp and then… BurpFake burpWe burp at the same timeI can’t even burpGirls burp when they want to burp

This beach vacation is in full swing. I’m with other adults which means my kids can finally swim in the ocean and we can split into smaller mini groups. (Thank you Cathy, Robyn & Ron)

Although, I had all 5 kids last night in one hotel room and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I know that’s against hotel policy, but it’s my way of getting them back for their 11am checkout rule.  Seriously? 11am.

When did that start and why do we let them get away with this crime against vacations?

Tonight I managed to get the fab 5 kids in and out of the shower in a 25 minute assembly line.

I was impressed with myself until later when they ran into the sprinklers on the hotel lawn and then jumped in the pool, fully dressed.

I had two issues with this.
1. I obviously lost control of the fab 5. (and so did the other adults)
2. I really didn’t want to repeat that assembly line.

So, I didn’t. They went to bed smelling like a swimming pool, after eating pizza and tagging each other (and hotel guests) with laser pens until they got told off.

I know what you’re thinking, laser pens… Yes, laser pens.
and silly rings, a bird whistle, a back scratcher and other “necessary” stuff I bought them at Wings. It’s a must visit beach vacation store and it’s filled with junk and nostalgia from my youth, but that’s another story.

And by hotel guests, I mean other kids who chased the lasers on the lawn.

Come on, it’s not like I let the kids spot lasers on adults trying to eat a nice dinner below our room. I would never do that…

Thanks to the other adults being here, I’ve even managed to work on my tan. I usually look like a human version of Neapolitan Ice cream, but not this time.

Although, I’ll probably be peeling and back to some version of that triple flavored goodness before the Emmy’s.

One more day here and it’s back to work. August is turning out to be BUSY, and EXCITING, in shouty caps, and full of new challenges. I’m READY, also in shouty caps.

By the way, girls do burp. It must be true, my 9 year old daughter told me and she’s never wrong.

She’s writing a book about it called, “Girls Don’t Burp.” Get it?

And the laser pens came with rules, you can tag clothes or the ground but never in the eyes.

Girls don’t burp

At the dinner table
At a fancy restaurant burp
Walking my dog burp
At school burp
I burp and then… Burp
Fake burp
We burp at the same time
I can’t even burp
Girls burp when they want to burp





Hi cool people. I’m back.
Sorry it’s been a while but we had a family emergency and honestly, I just haven’t felt very inspired and I definitely didn’t feel like laughing. My 90 year old Grandma passed away with all of us by her side last week. We spent 5 days that felt like an eternity, sitting with her and basically waiting for her to pass, on her own time of course.What I am inspired by is her life. She worked until she was 87 almost 12 hours a day.  I hope I can live my life as well as she did hers, she was quite a woman.She rallied a few days before her death, long enough to tell us all she loved us and for us to tell her we loved her and that we would be ok. One of the first things she said, after not speaking for two days, was, “I need hair spray.”This makes me laugh now. It really does. She was herself until the bitter end and ‘put her pretty on’, even on her death bed.And let me just also admit that I could not stop cooking or baking something during those days. I felt like if I could feed people, it would be better. I think she thought that too. You could never be at The Cone Family Farm and have an empty stomach. On another note, Veep was nominated for 9 Emmy’s! That is insane and insanely awesome.What might be more insane and also insanely awesome, is that this is my 7th personal nomination. WTF? How did that happen?I’m dress hunting again which is always fun. I’m definitely wearing the same 4 hour shoes and tricking myself into thinking they’ll last 6 hrs. Right. This time I’ll take two ibuprofen in advance as an experiment. Mac played with a band in NC and we had a great beach holiday. More on that soon but he has blue hair. Yep, that’s right. I let him dye part of his hair blue.I’m a cool mom, dammit.  I’m also really going to miss Grandma Cone.I wrote this for her funeral and you know what, they gave her a standing ovation. 100 people,  and mostly older folks who have a hard time actually standing, all stood up. Imagine that.Helen ConeI love this woman I call Grandma Cone. I’m not alone. There are many people that call her Grandma and many many people that love her.  We are the lucky ones. My Grandma Cone. I want to be her when I grow up and I live my life by her example. Every day she made the world a whole lot better and brighter and every day I’ll miss her smile. I noticed the other day that she had a beautiful birthmark on her left cheek in the shape of a sideways heart, so perfect for her because she was full of love.She was my connection to the past that is so important to my future. She was there when my Father opened his eyes for the first time and sadly, when he closed them for the last time and I’m so happy I was there when she closed her eyes for the final time.  This woman deserves a standing ovation and endless curtain calls. I love this woman. I love Grandma Cone.

Hi cool people. I’m back.

Sorry it’s been a while but we had a family emergency and honestly, I just haven’t felt very inspired and I definitely didn’t feel like laughing.

My 90 year old Grandma passed away with all of us by her side last week. We spent 5 days that felt like an eternity, sitting with her and basically waiting for her to pass, on her own time of course.

What I am inspired by is her life. She worked until she was 87 almost 12 hours a day.  I hope I can live my life as well as she did hers, she was quite a woman.

She rallied a few days before her death, long enough to tell us all she loved us and for us to tell her we loved her and that we would be ok.

One of the first things she said, after not speaking for two days, was, “I need hair spray.”

This makes me laugh now. It really does. She was herself until the bitter end and ‘put her pretty on’, even on her death bed.

And let me just also admit that I could not stop cooking or baking something during those days. I felt like if I could feed people, it would be better.

I think she thought that too. You could never be at The Cone Family Farm and have an empty stomach.

On another note, Veep was nominated for 9 Emmy’s! That is insane and insanely awesome.

What might be more insane and also insanely awesome, is that this is my 7th personal nomination. WTF? How did that happen?

I’m dress hunting again which is always fun. I’m definitely wearing the same 4 hour shoes and tricking myself into thinking they’ll last 6 hrs. Right. This time I’ll take two ibuprofen in advance as an experiment.

Mac played with a band in NC and we had a great beach holiday.
More on that soon but he has blue hair. Yep, that’s right. I let him dye part of his hair blue.

I’m a cool mom, dammit.  I’m also really going to miss Grandma Cone.

I wrote this for her funeral and you know what, they gave her a standing ovation. 100 people,  and mostly older folks who have a hard time actually standing, all stood up. Imagine that.

Helen Cone

I love this woman I call Grandma Cone. I’m not alone. There are many people that call her Grandma and many many people that love her.  We are the lucky ones.

My Grandma Cone. I want to be her when I grow up and I live my life by her example. Every day she made the world a whole lot better and brighter and every day I’ll miss her smile.

I noticed the other day that she had a beautiful birthmark on her left cheek in the shape of a sideways heart, so perfect for her because she was full of love.

She was my connection to the past that is so important to my future. She was there when my Father opened his eyes for the first time and sadly, when he closed them for the last time and I’m so happy I was there when she closed her eyes for the final time. 

This woman deserves a standing ovation and endless curtain calls.
I love this woman. I love Grandma Cone.

It’s launch day for PuPPy by Patterson. Once again, my children impress me and are much cooler than I ever was as a kid.Patterson has been wanting to start this company for over a year and today, she’s open for business.I could care less if she makes any money, I just want her to have this experience. She had an idea and she followed through, and she’s 9.Watch her go people. She is on her way.I’m watching the waves from my Blockade Runner hotel room.Arthur came and went and I never want to leave this spot. Well, at least for a few more days when we pack up and trek back to NYC.I was more freaked out about tornadoes than the hurricane so we rode out the storm from the hotel. This place is like a bunker. 4th of July was fun and some of the usual suspects were here.Nice to see you Banshee Ladies! Wrightsville Beach is the best place to see it all. There are fireworks to your left, right, center and 15 feet away. I’ll soon be seeing my Amtrak friends and trying not to eat those desserts in square pots. Oh and I’m reuniting with those chocolate chip cookies that I broke up with last season. It’s a tumultuous affair.check out www.puppybypatterson.comBut wait until tomorrow when the kinks are sorted.

It’s launch day for PuPPy by Patterson.

Once again, my children impress me and are much cooler than I ever was as a kid.

Patterson has been wanting to start this company for over a year and today, she’s open for business.

I could care less if she makes any money, I just want her to have this experience. She had an idea and she followed through, and she’s 9.

Watch her go people. She is on her way.

I’m watching the waves from my Blockade Runner hotel room.

Arthur came and went and I never want to leave this spot.

Well, at least for a few more days when we pack up and trek back to NYC.

I was more freaked out about tornadoes than the hurricane so we rode out the storm from the hotel. This place is like a bunker.

4th of July was fun and some of the usual suspects were here.
Nice to see you Banshee Ladies! Wrightsville Beach is the best place to see it all. There are fireworks to your left, right, center and 15 feet away.

I’ll soon be seeing my Amtrak friends and trying not to eat those desserts in square pots.

Oh and I’m reuniting with those chocolate chip cookies that I broke up with last season. It’s a tumultuous affair.

check out www.puppybypatterson.com

But wait until tomorrow when the kinks are sorted.









We’ve been in one of my favorite places for three days now, Wrightsville Beach NC. We love it here.Sadly, we might not be back here for a while since the State is changing it’s film incentive program. We’ve called this place home for six years. The people that live here and work with us are family so lets hope this gets worked out. But big politics is at play and they don’t give a shit about the people that will lose their jobs.What will happen to this community if the filming goes away? For now, The Little Laing’s and I are just kicking back at the beach and enjoying every minute we’re here. I’m feeling very melancholy since we arrived and also a little dizzy, my vertigo is back and really pissing me off. This town also has the best doctors. One of them happens to be the only one I’ve seen who has ever made any sense or helped at all with this vertigo business and all for a very nice price and with a smile. Have I mentioned how much I love this town?I let Mac dye part of his hair blue and he’s playing with a band Saturday. I’m so proud.They all got henna tattoos and Mac’s smudged on my arm. Apparently they last for three weeks. That means for three weeks I will endure people telling me I have something on my arm.We’re all trying surfing lessons tomorrow unless tropical storm Arthur gets in our way.If he does, you’ll find us playing corn hole instead.Oh hey, my film got into another festival. This one is HollyShorts Film Festival in Los Angeles. This is me as Miley Cyrus, courtesy of Patterson.
We’ve been in one of my favorite places for three days now, Wrightsville Beach NC. We love it here.

Sadly, we might not be back here for a while since the State is changing it’s film incentive program.

We’ve called this place home for six years. The people that live here and work with us are family so lets hope this gets worked out.

But big politics is at play and they don’t give a shit about the people that will lose their jobs.

What will happen to this community if the filming goes away?

For now, The Little Laing’s and I are just kicking back at the beach and enjoying every minute we’re here.

I’m feeling very melancholy since we arrived and also a little dizzy, my vertigo is back and really pissing me off.

This town also has the best doctors. One of them happens to be the only one I’ve seen who has ever made any sense or helped at all with this vertigo business and all for a very nice price and with a smile.

Have I mentioned how much I love this town?

I let Mac dye part of his hair blue and he’s playing with a band Saturday. I’m so proud.

They all got henna tattoos and Mac’s smudged on my arm. Apparently they last for three weeks. That means for three weeks I will endure people telling me I have something on my arm.

We’re all trying surfing lessons tomorrow unless tropical storm Arthur gets in our way.

If he does, you’ll find us playing corn hole instead.

Oh hey, my film got into another festival. This one is HollyShorts Film Festival in Los Angeles.

This is me as Miley Cyrus, courtesy of Patterson.





Only three more days of school until Summer Break. My kids are going bananas and so am I.Three more sleep nights and three more wake ups. Ugh. Is it just my house or does bedtime suck for other people?It’s like these little people forget that they have to go to sleep every day and then wake up for school the next morning.I give them the ten minute warning, they ask for more time, I relent, give another warning, then finally in bed, and they talk. And talk and then get up to pee or drink water, anything to delay some shut eye.Waking up is pretty much the same. With three, I’m guaranteed that at least one will wake up cranky. Today it was Patterson and she was a FORCE that ended with me drying her hair for twenty minutes before leaving for school. I’ll spare you the details but I definitely did not do it right. The Palm Springs Film Festival was great, about 300 people watched my film and  laughed in all the right places. It was such a great experience for me. I keep thinking, wow, we made something and people like it. I’m loving this journey.I tried writing before the screening and every time I wrote “I’m nervous”, my iPhone auto corrected it to, “I’m verbose.”And so my iPhone was right again, see for yourself. VERBOSEDefinition: wordy, long-windedSynonyms: bombastic, circumlocutory, diffuse, flowery, full of air, fustian, gabby, garrulous, grandiloquent, involved, loquacious, magniloquent, palaverous, periphrastic, pleonastic, prolix, redundant, repeating, repetitious, repetitive, rhetorical, talkative, talky, tautological, tautologous, tedious, tortuous, windy, yackingI was definitely ‘yacking’ before the screening. I was also ‘downing’ a tequila shot.Happy Summer everyone.


Only three more days of school until Summer Break. My kids are going bananas and so am I.

Three more sleep nights and three more wake ups. Ugh.

Is it just my house or does bedtime suck for other people?

It’s like these little people forget that they have to go to sleep every day and then wake up for school the next morning.

I give them the ten minute warning, they ask for more time, I relent, give another warning, then finally in bed, and they talk. And talk and then get up to pee or drink water, anything to delay some shut eye.

Waking up is pretty much the same. With three, I’m guaranteed that at least one will wake up cranky.

Today it was Patterson and she was a FORCE that ended with me drying her hair for twenty minutes before leaving for school. I’ll spare you the details but I definitely did not do it right.

The Palm Springs Film Festival was great, about 300 people watched my film and  laughed in all the right places.

It was such a great experience for me. I keep thinking, wow, we made something and people like it. I’m loving this journey.

I tried writing before the screening and every time I wrote “I’m nervous”, my iPhone auto corrected it to, “I’m verbose.”

And so my iPhone was right again, see for yourself.

VERBOSE
Definition: wordy, long-winded
Synonyms: bombastic, circumlocutory, diffuse, flowery, full of air, fustian, gabby, garrulous, grandiloquent, involved, loquacious, magniloquent, palaverous, periphrastic, pleonastic, prolix, redundant, repeating, repetitious, repetitive, rhetorical, talkative, talky, tautological, tautologous, tedious, tortuous, windy, yacking

I was definitely ‘yacking’ before the screening.

I was also ‘downing’ a tequila shot.

Happy Summer everyone.